• It All Started With a Three Hour Nap

            Today we decided to go out for breakfast and spend the day shopping in the city. All in all in was a beautiful day spent with grandparents who were in major need of some quality Dexter time.These days Dex is far too curious to nap out in public for the most part especially when grandma and grandpa are there to entertain so by the time 3 o’clock rolled around his usual 2 naps consisting of about an hour each, had been condensed to one half hour nap spent aimlessly walking around Trader Joe’s. We arrived back home with one very unhappy, screaming baby and two equally exhausted parents around 4 pm. Armed with the knowledge that it was pretty risky to put him down for a nap so close to bedtime we crawled in to bed anyways and both Dex and I promptly passed out. Three hours later I awoke to a still sleeping baby. EeeeeeK!!! What did I do??? He finally woke up a little past 7 pm and I resolved at that point that we would probably be up until midnight or so. But with a nap as glorious as that I was absolutely OK with the consequences. In spite of the fact that I was more than ready to deal with a wild man until the wee hours of the morning he surprised us both by going easily to bed at 9. I, on the other hand, had a much more difficult time going to bed. Since the hubby didn’t enjoy a three hour nap as we did , he passed out shortly after 9 as well. So all alone with my thoughts and already in bed I started……. THINKING. One of those terrible, hormonally brought on, mind rambling, worried thoughts that don’t shut off no matter how much you want them to. Most of these rambling thoughts involved gazing at the beautiful sleeping child I was cuddled up with and again realized the unfathomable love I have for this sweet boy. I never wanted to love anything this much, so much that if anything ever happened to it I don’t know how I could possibly go on. But here I am falling yet even more head over heels for the little boy we call Dex. Looking at him sleeping so peacefully there in the dark with his little legs propped over mine like he always does and arms stretched far over his head, my heart filled with so much love I again felt the sharp pain of it bursting into a million pieces. I tell you love like this, it is brutal. He is my weakness and has the capacity to totally undo me yet at the same time this love makes me more powerful and stronger than I have ever been before. So here is to the sweet, sweet pain that is loving a child, the kind of love that keeps you up at night, the kind of love that is all-encompassing, the kind of love that once you know it there is no way to live without it.