Yesterday was one of those days, well….. the day before that too, and the day before that one. Days filled with tantrums, screaming and tears for reasons I can’t explain or understand. Yesterday I was THAT mom in the grocery store. The mom with a toddler screaming at the top of his lungs….. the. whole. time. I was the mom I used to look at in my pre-mommy days and think to myself “doesn’t she hear her kid screaming, why don’t they just leave?” Yes, I was that mom.
Other customers either gave me looks of pity while others scowled angrily at us for ruining their shopping experience. A man came up to me laughing and said, “Wow,he’s a handful isn’t he?!?” I did my best to laugh it off and simply replied, ” yes he is” to which the he responded, ” Yeah I can tell.”I know he wasn’t being cruel and didn’t mean anything by it but it took everything I had to stop myself from ugly crying right there in the pasta aisle.
How we finished shopping I’ll never know. We finally stumbled out to the car and after strapping my now hysterical toddler into his car seat I frantically tried to open a bag of chips in an attempt to find something, ANYTHING to pacify him! In my desperation I popped the bag resulting in a chip explosion of nuclear proportions. Chips were sent flying into the backseat and rained down on my hair, on the dash and all over the floor. I think every awful word that exists ran thru my head all in about half a second. My inner monologue was interrupted by the sound of the biggest and cutest belly laugh I’ve ever heard. I turned to see Dex laughing so hard he could barely breath. And then I lost it, in the very best of ways. Next thing we knew we were both hysterical. Hysterically laughing in a hot summer car, sitting in the middle of a grocery parking lot and covered in potato chips. And I was reminded how quickly things can change. He may be having a few bad days now but then we’ll have a few amazing ones. He may refuse to eat his dinner tonight and then eat everything in sight tomorrow. He’ll be my little snugly baby boy today who smothers me with night night kisses and tomorrow he’ll be walking into high school too embarrassed and too cool to even hug me goodbye. So yes to the tantrums, yes to the tears, yes to the frustration because one day I’ll be missing these days. Just like I miss those newborn days, the waking up every couple of hours to feed him, the walking him to sleep, the nursing…I miss it all so much it hurts. In a few years I’ll miss these days just the same way and it won’t be the screaming or the tears that I will remember, it’ll be the giggles in the backseat of that hot, hot car in the middle of the grocery store parking lot.
P.S. Just in case you were wondering I did NOT wear this outfit to the grocery store.