Never Say Never

• Posted onAli J.
• in All Things Dexter
• onNovember 24, 2014
• 2 Comments.

There is nothing that will make you eat your words quite like parenting. If you would have told me a few years ago that I would be a co-sleeping, baby-wearing, hippy dippy kinda mom nursing a toddler I would have asked who would be holding the gun to my head forcing me to do these crazy things. I even had a co-worker ask me while I was pregnant if I was going to be one of those weirdos who believed in co-sleeping and I responded with an emphatic…”NO WAY!” This is also the same co-worker I promised I would only be gone 3 weeks for maternity leave….. that was 22 months ago and I have as yet to walk back thru that door. Being a parent has changed so much about me…even my so-called ideals and principles…everything I thought I believed in. Yes 22 months ago I would have said that I would never ever quit my job, cut back to live on a budget and …gasp…not buy so many clothes…..in order to be a stay at home mom. What’s next a mini van?!?!? (Sticking to my guns on that one!) I would have said I would never lay in bed every night holding my boys hand waiting for him to fall fast asleep. I would never lay there with him curled up next to me, his arms and legs all tangled up in mine, listening to him breathing heavily as he dreams. I would have never imagined waking up to find him staring intently into my eyes and then greeting me with a soft, sweet smile and gentle kiss. I also would have told you that only freaks breastfeed toddlers and that the highlight of my day would certainly never be nursing my 19 month old. That on days filled with running, stick collecting, stone throwing, truck crashing and puppy chasing that we would not quietly reconnect in that sweet and most intimate way. I would never want my boy who seems oh so big to once again be my little baby for a few moments. My little baby once again cradled in my arms, softly petting me and playing with my hair while he nurses. Gazing into my eyes until he smiles out of sheer contentment. Yes these are all the things I never wanted to do. Now I couldn’t imagine a life without these moments. Who knew eating your own words could be this good!